Understanding Anxiety: It's More Than Just Stress (and It's Okay to Feel It)
In our fast-paced world, feeling overwhelmed is almost a badge of honor. We often talk about being "stressed," but sometimes what we're experiencing is something deeper: anxiety. While stress and anxiety are related, understanding their differences and the nature of anxiety itself is crucial for our well-being.
Stress vs. Anxiety: What's the Difference?
Think of stress as a response to a known, external trigger. It's usually short-lived and fades once the pressure is removed. You might feel stressed before a big presentation, during a tight deadline at work, or while navigating heavy traffic. Once the presentation is done, the deadline is met, or you're out of the traffic jam, the stress typically subsides.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is often characterized by persistent worry, nervousness, or unease, even when there isn't a clear and present danger. It can be more diffuse and future-oriented. You might feel anxious about something that could happen, or experience a general sense of apprehension without a specific cause. Anxiety can linger long after a stressful event has passed.
Anxiety is a Normal Human Experience
It's important to understand that anxiety is a normal human emotion. Just like happiness, sadness, anger, and fear, anxiety has played a vital role in our survival. It's our body's natural alarm system, alerting us to potential threats and preparing us to respond.
Think back to our ancestors: a rustling in the bushes might trigger anxiety, prompting them to be more alert to potential predators. This physiological response, involving the release of hormones like adrenaline, helped them stay safe.
In today's world, while we might not face the same physical dangers, our brains are still wired to respond to perceived threats – whether they're social, financial, or emotional. Feeling anxious before a job interview, a first date, or when facing a financial challenge is a natural response. It can even be motivating, pushing us to prepare and perform better.
Debunking Common Myths About Anxiety:
Unfortunately, anxiety is often misunderstood, leading to stigma and misconceptions. Let's address some common myths:
Myth 1: Anxiety is a sign of weakness.
Reality: Anxiety is a complex biological, psychological, and social phenomenon. It doesn't reflect a lack of strength or willpower. Many strong and successful individuals experience anxiety.
Myth 2: If you have anxiety, you should just "get over it."
Reality: Telling someone with anxiety to "just relax" or "snap out of it" is unhelpful and dismissive. Anxiety can be deeply rooted and may require understanding, coping strategies, and sometimes professional support.
Myth 3: Anxiety is always a bad thing.
Reality: As we discussed, mild anxiety can be adaptive, helping us to be prepared and motivated. It's when anxiety becomes excessive, persistent, and interferes with daily life that it becomes a problem.
Myth 4: Anxiety will go away on its own.
Reality: While some situational anxiety might fade, chronic anxiety often requires proactive management. Learning coping mechanisms, seeking therapy, and making lifestyle changes can significantly improve anxiety symptoms.
Myth 5: People with anxiety are just making it up for attention.
Reality: Anxiety is a genuine and often distressing experience. Dismissing someone's anxiety can be incredibly invalidating and prevent them from seeking the help they need.
Moving Forward: Understanding and Acceptance
Recognizing the difference between stress and anxiety, acknowledging anxiety as a normal human emotion, and challenging common myths are the first steps towards better understanding and managing anxiety. By normalizing these experiences, we can create a more supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable seeking help and developing healthy coping strategies.
If you find that your anxiety is frequently overwhelming, persistent, or significantly impacting your daily life, remember that you're not alone, and help is available. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate your anxiety effectively.
Virtual Therapy vs. In-Person Therapy: What’s the Difference and Which Is Right for You?
Over the past few years, therapy has become more accessible than ever. Whether you’re curled up on your couch with a cup of tea or sitting in a cozy office chair, the support you need is just a conversation away. But with both virtual therapyand in-person therapy available, you might be wondering: Which one is best for me?
Here’s a look at the pros and cons of each option to help you choose the format that fits your life, your comfort, and your goals.
🌐 The Pros of Virtual Therapy
Convenience. No commute, no traffic, no parking. You can attend sessions from the comfort of home, your office, or even your car.
Accessibility. Especially helpful if you live in a rural area, have mobility challenges, or a busy schedule.
Comfort. Being in your own environment can help you feel safer and more open—especially when discussing vulnerable topics.
Flexibility. Virtual therapy makes it easier to fit sessions into your routine, which can increase consistency and follow-through.
⚠️ The Cons of Virtual Therapy
Technology hiccups. Internet issues or glitches can interrupt the flow of a session (though most therapists have backup plans!).
Privacy concerns. If you live with others, it can be hard to find a truly private space to talk.
Missing nonverbal cues. While video can still feel personal, it’s not quite the same as being in a shared physical space.
🛋️ The Pros of In-Person Therapy
Physical presence. Sharing space with your therapist can feel grounding and create a strong sense of connection.
Fewer distractions. A therapy office is designed to be calming and free of interruptions—making it easier to focus on yourself.
Helpful for certain types of therapy. Some therapeutic approaches (like EMDR or somatic work) may be more effective in person.
Easier body language reading. For both therapist and client, it’s easier to pick up on subtle cues in person.
⚠️ The Cons of In-Person Therapy
Travel time. You’ll need to factor in commuting, parking, and scheduling around travel time.
Limited availability. If you’re in a smaller town, there may be fewer therapists nearby—or none who specialize in what you need.
Less flexible. You’ll need to be in a specific place at a specific time, which can be tough with a busy or unpredictable schedule.
💡 So… Which Is Better?
Honestly? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on your preferences, lifestyle, and what helps you feel most supported.
Some people start with virtual therapy and eventually move to in-person. Others do the opposite. Some stick with one format forever because it just works. The good news is—you get to decide.
What matters most is not how you attend therapy, but that you’re showing up for yourself.
Curious about virtual therapy?
I offer online therapy for women in Virginia and North Carolina. If you're wondering if virtual sessions are right for you, I’d love to talk it through.
How Do You Know When It’s Time for Therapy?
How Do You Know When It’s Time for Therapy?
We all go through tough seasons. Maybe you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you’ve been carrying a heaviness that no one else can see. But how do you know if what you’re going through really warrants therapy?
Let me say this first:
You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy.
In fact, many people start therapy just because they want to better understand themselves, heal old wounds, or navigate life’s transitions with support.
Still unsure if it’s time? Here are some signs to pay attention to:
1. You feel overwhelmed more often than not.
Whether it’s work, relationships, parenting, or just life in general—if you constantly feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water, therapy can help you sort through the chaos and find steadier ground.
2. You're stuck in patterns that no longer serve you.
You keep ending up in the same kinds of relationships. Or you notice yourself reacting in ways that don’t feel aligned with who you want to be. Therapy is a space to get curious about those patterns—not with judgment, but with compassion and the tools for change.
3. You’re struggling to enjoy things you used to love.
When joy, motivation, or interest in your usual routines fade away, it can be a sign that something deeper is going on. You don’t have to “wait until it passes.” Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and rediscover what lights you up.
4. You’ve experienced a loss, trauma, or big life change.
Grief and transition come in many forms—losing a loved one, ending a relationship, becoming a parent, changing careers, or even moving. Therapy offers a place to process, adjust, and heal at your own pace.
5. You’re tired of holding it all together alone.
If you’ve been “the strong one” for a long time, it might feel unfamiliar (or even uncomfortable) to ask for help. But therapy is a place where you don’t have to carry the weight by yourself.
Therapy isn't just for when things are falling apart.
Starting therapy doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re brave enough to look inward. It means you're choosing yourself.
If you're wondering whether therapy might help, that wondering is enough of a reason to explore it. You're not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
Looking for support?
I offer virtual therapy for women in Virginia and North Carolina navigating anxiety, trauma, grief, and life transitions. Let’s talk about what you need—and whether we’re a good fit.
Common Therapy Myths
In recent years it has become more widely accepted to seek therapy. Unfortunately, there are still many myths and misconceptions that keep people from getting the help they need. Today I’m going to break down some of the most common misunderstandings about therapy and what therapy actually looks like.
Misconception #1: Therapy is only for people with severe mental illness
One of the biggest myths about therapy is that it’s only for those who have been diagnosed with a severe mental illness. The truth is that therapy is for everyone. People seek therapy for a variety of reasons, including stress, relationship issues, grief, self-improvement, and personal growth. Just like you don’t need to be physically ill to go to the gym, you don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy.
Misconception #2: Therapy is just talking about your feelings
While discussing emotions is a part of therapy, it’s not just about venting. Therapists use evidence-based techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) to help clients develop coping strategies, identify patterns, and create meaningful changes in their lives. Therapy is an active, goal-oriented process.
Misconception #3: Going to therapy means you’re weak
There is a lingering stigma that seeking therapy means you can’t handle life on your own. In reality, recognizing that you need support and taking steps to care for your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to face challenges, work through past trauma, and make lasting changes.
Misconception #4: A therapist will tell you what to do
Many people assume that a therapist’s job is to give advice or tell clients how to fix their problems. Instead, therapy is a collaborative process where the therapist helps clients explore their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to make informed decisions that align with their values and goals. Rather than providing direct answers, therapists guide clients toward self-discovery and empowerment.
Misconception #5: Therapy takes forever
Another common concern is that once you start therapy, you’ll be in it for years. While therapy can be a long-term process for some, others benefit from short-term therapy that focuses on specific issues. Many evidence-based approaches, such as CBT and CPT, are designed to be time-limited and solution-focused, helping clients see progress within weeks or months.
Misconception #6: If one therapist doesn’t work out, therapy isn’t for you
Finding the right therapist is a lot like finding the right doctor or personal trainer—it might take some trial and error. If you don’t click with the first therapist you see, that doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. It’s important to find a therapist whose style and approach align with your needs. A good therapeutic relationship is key to making progress.
Misconception #7: Therapy is too expensive
While therapy can be a financial investment, there are options available to make it more affordable. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees, and insurance often covers therapy sessions. Additionally, online therapy platforms provide more budget-friendly alternatives. Investing in your mental health is just as important as investing in your physical health.
Final Thoughts
Therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery. By debunking these common misconceptions, I hope more people feel empowered to seek the support they need without fear or hesitation. If you’ve been considering therapy, remember that it’s a step toward a healthier, more fulfilled life—not a sign of failure or weakness.
What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session
Nervous about starting therapy? What to expect in your first session
Starting therapy is a big step. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, such as excitement, nervousness, or even uncertainty. If you’re wondering what your first therapy session will be like, this guide will help you feel more prepared and comfortable as you embark on your journey to healing and self-discovery.
A Warm Welcome
Therapy is meant to be a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can be yourself. Your therapist will start the session by helping you feel at ease. They will understand that opening up can take time and will meet you where you are.
Reviewing Paperwork and Policies
At the beginning of the first therapy session, your therapist will review the important details of the therapy process. Things like confidentiality, cancellation policies, and what to expect from therapy. This is also an opportunity to ask any logistical questions or bring up any concerns you may have.
Getting to Know you
Your therapist will ask questions to get a better understanding of what has brought you to therapy, your background, current challenges, and goals for therapy. Some of the questions might include:
What brought you to therapy?
Have you been to therapy before?
What are some key struggles or stressors in your life right now?
How will you know if therapy is working?
What are your expectations and hopes for therapy?
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers! This is just the beginning and an opportunity to reflect.
Setting Goals for Therapy
You and your therapist will work together to identify some goals for your sessions. Your goals may start out very broadly, but over time, these goals will most likely become more specific as you gain clarity on what you want to achieve.
Creating a Comfortable Space
Therapy is about growth, self-discovery, and healing. Your first session is just the starting point. If you don’t know what to say, that’s okay! Your therapist will guide the conversation and create a space where you feel supported.
Next Steps
At the end of your first session, your therapist will discuss what to expect moving forward. You may set a schedule for future sessions, discuss initial strategies to try, or reflect on how the session felt for you.
Final Thoughts
Taking the first step toward therapy is a courageous act of self-care. Remember, therapy is a journey, and your therapist is there to support you every step of the way. If you have questions or concerns about your first session, don’t hesitate to reach out. You deserve a space to heal, grow, and thrive!